Alright, forgive me for a wedding related post. I promise it applies to what we have been discussing!
I'm currently reading a book about the wedding industry, One Perfect Day: the Selling of the American Wedding by Rebecca Mead. The book focuses on the development of the wedding industry and the reflection an average American wedding has on American culture. Now, it would be a stretch to apply the entire book to fairy tales. However, there is one section where Mead discusses why brides think that they must have a bigger, fancier, and more elaborate wedding and speficially mentions "happily ever after." Mead points out that the wedding industry, particularly wedding media, sells the idea of the bigger the wedding, the happier your happily ever after will be. The bride is the main character of her own personal fairy tale, and it is her responsibility to make that fairy tale come true. To illustrate, I received a magazine (free) with the headline "Enchanted & Engaged!" (I also instantly thought of this class). Mead notes that otherwise sensible brides suddenly become insensible monsters with unrealistic demands- they become bridezillas, fed by the never ending fluff spewed out by the wedding industry.
Bridezillas and the idea of a happier happily ever after stem from pre-established notions that American brides have, according to Mead. This fits within the feminist criticisms of fairy tales. Women buy into the notion that happily ever after begins with a wedding. I am not arguing that fairy tales created the current bridezilla trend, but I tend to agree with Mead that the ideas introduced to women and men (there is now such a thing as a groomzilla) through unrealistic fairy tales is the basis on which the wedding industry feeds. Other books exist around this same theme, including one titled Cinderella Dreams: the Allure of the Lavish Wedding by Celes Otnes. How different would American culture and American weddings be if fairy tales resembled Angela Carter's retellings more so than Walt Disney's retellings? Would weddings be the elaborate, unrealistic affairs they tend to be? Or would weddings be more somber and spiritual?
Link to the book on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/One-Perfect-Day-Selling-American/dp/B001QXC4V8/ref=tmm_pap_title_0/175-0038621-6098825
Maureen - I definitely agree with you. First of all, I really find the cover page of this book to be interesting and affecting. Oftentimes, people do not think about how much each thing adds up in a wedding, and many in the upper middle class assume that the various things listed on the image are necessary and normal. In truth, many people cannot afford everything that is "normal" in a wedding, and this has not always been the way weddings are approached. A fairly recent development, the treatment of a wedding as though it was as important as buying a house or a car seems indicative of skewed priorities.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, I think that you're right in saying that the larger the wedding, the happier the "happily ever after" is thought to be in our society today. I think it has a huge impact on the development of bridezillas. People now lose sight of the really important thing in a wedding. While women are focused on the fact that they have been dreaming of this day for their entire lives (another product of the Disney princess culture) and want to fulfill every fantasy they have ever had, they are forgetting that, even if they don't get the perfect dress or the most expensive veil, they are getting to celebrate their marriage with their family and friends. Even if a woman’s maid of honor does not do everything perfectly and there are some hitches in the day, they will still be married to someone they love at the end of it. But, the fairy tale wedding industry tells women differently. Instead, they tell women that if they don’t take a loan out from their bank to pay for their blessed day and don’t have a horse-drawn carriage and don’t hold the reception in a castle, they will live unhappily ever after and will regret their wedding day’s imperfections for the rest of their lives. The industry promotes the idea that money can buy happiness, but the right husband cannot.