On December 18th, Kevin Jonas and Danielle Deleasa tied the knot in fairy tale fashion. In the Oheka Castle in Long Island, New York, they joined with family and friends as they celebrated their marriage in a room decorated as an enchanted forest complete with fake snow to create a winter wonderland effect. Although Danielle claims she never intended to have such a fantastical wedding, it certainly came about as the planning unraveled. Kevin told People Magazine, “I knew that my princess needed her glass slippers and her castle.”
There is something about the event of a wedding that automatically links itself to fairy tales. This may not be a coincidence, given that many fairy tales require weddings to complete their happy endings. The association of marriage with a happy ending is harmless unless taken as a guarantee for happiness, at which point it becomes problematic. Fairy tales conveniently fail to include the funds and the planning required to create such a wedding. The realization must be made that a fantastical wedding does not guarantee one happiness in their marriage forever, just as we don’t really know if the prince and princess live happily ever after in fairy tales because we never get to see the years following the big wedding.
Just as there is pressure on the bride to create the perfect wedding to ensure the happy marriage, there is most likely an equal pressure that falls on the responsibility of the groom to fulfill his role as the heroic and masculine prince. This role often creates a homophobic atmosphere in which a man must assume certain responsibilities, and lead his bride into her new life with him. This leaves less power in the hands of the bride, as she assumes her role as the passive female in the fairy tale. Granted, not all weddings are taken to such extremes, and not everyone attempts to act our their favorite fairy tale on their big day, but putting such heavy value in these stories can give us a skewed perception of relationships and on gender roles themselves.
Although it seems untruthful to real life, lack of a sneak peak into the future married life of the prince and princess is exactly what makes the fairy tale ambiance so appealing. Omitting to show us life beyond marriage, which is undoubtedly filled with trials and challenges, we are able to continue to associate the fairytale with a sense of innocence, as it does not take on the complications of normal life. Since weddings often signify, in some regard, one’s loss of innocence, and graduation out from under their parents’ care, an attempt to resurrect this feeling of innocence at wedding ceremonies is often seen. Embracing a fairy tale atmosphere accomplishes this goal, while dodging the serious and frightening feelings associated with adulthood.
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I definitely see your point that weddings signify a loss of innocence, in the sense of passing into adulthood and responsibility for one's own family. I wonder if perhaps the fairy tale wedding speaks to a need to escape into fantasy before the reality of marriage and its hardships commences?
ReplyDeleteI hate the Jonas Brothers...if they died, the world would be a better place. Isn't it ironic that one of the products of the Disney machine wanted to have a fairy tale wedding? They were groomed to be this rise tale in spite of a complete and utter lack of any discernible talent. The success of the Jonas Brothers prove that fairies exist because only by magic could such talentless human beings be successful.
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